It'll Take A Lot Of Courage
by CATHnichO2
Summary: Ever wanted to know what happens to Klaine and to the New Directions after Season 4 finished? Well...I am treating you to my follow on story of the plot Glee writer Ryan Murphy left off. Except this is all through the eyes of...Blaine Devon Anderson. *I hope you'll all enjoy my FanFic and please comment/recommend any of your ideas through-out my writing process* THANK-YOU!
1. Chapter 1

In the words of Katy Perry…I am truly _Wide Wake_. It's late…really late. Grunting, I reluctantly turn over to check my digital alarm clock…**3am** in the morning!_ Ugh_. Then glancing down at my bed sheets, I can see that they're completely tangled between my legs_. This is making me too hot…I need to crack a window!_ Both of my shirt and my purple tie are also tangled up with in these retched sheets, whilst the rest of my costume is resting on the floor_. Drat!_ And to top it all off. I just can't get all of this dame glitter paper that they showered on us after winning Regionals, out of my hair…no matter how hard I tug. But soon…it hits me. _We've won!_ The New directions…have won Regionals. And in a couple of months were are all off to the National Championships for a second time in a row. Oh my god…_we actually did it!_ But why do I feel so unhappy…so…so incomplete?

"Ouch!"

I am suddenly distracted by a small, hard box that is digging into my back. So I try to slip my hand around me to retrieve whatever the hell it…_ooooh but it's so cool_…leather? _Humm_…it's in the shape of a square. _Oh no._ Immediately…I remember what it is. So much so…it causes tears to prick into my eyes. It's the box. The box that holds my ring…_his ring I mean!_ The ring that I bought for…_him. _

"Kurt."

To speak his name…it is such a comfort yet a painful stab in my heart as well. But despite this, I still say it out load all of the time. It's not like I don't deserve it…the pain, and you can't blame him for not wanting me back! Not after what I did to him…with Eli. But the problematic thing is…I'm _still_ worried sick about him. _I do_ worry so much about the ex-'love of my life'.

"Kurt."

I know…it's pathetic! But with Kurt's stressful life at NYADA and everything…not to mention what he's been telling me about his dad. I feel like I should be helping him in some way…shouldn't I? One thing I did notice though, was way back…way back from last week at the Lima Bean. When I was watching Kurt opposite me, obsessively arranging those sugar packets around the table…right in front of me! I swear he is developing OCD or something and I can't do a thing to stop it! Luckily Kurt's dad has come through the worst stage of his cancer treatment. Therefore I am happy that Kurt's family are finally okay again. God…I do miss being part of the Hummel family…Carol, Burt, Finn…K-. Before I know it…I am sobbing uncontrollably. Because in the end…I know that it's all my own fault.

In what feels like slow torturous motion, I open up the small leather _Zales_ box…revealing a sparkling 14k silver ring. Lathered with tiny blue sapphires all surrounding one large diamond in the middle. Once again I admire this beautiful ring that me and Tina planned, then had specially made for him…not so long ago. Some small feeling of glee finally grips my soul._ I'm so happy with my design…my choice…Kurt loves colourful things…especially with the colour blue…oh he's going to love it_! And every time that he'll look down at it…he will say that it reminds him of me. Wherever he is…he'd feel that I am always there for him. But now. In comparison to my dream…he wants hardly anything to do with me. The only time he will see me…is if someone else is there or at a large gathering. I snap the box shut and sigh…holding it tight to my chest.

"How am I going to tell him?" I murmur, shaking my head from side to side. This is just like what Kurt's dad said to me. _"Are you joking or are you nuts?" _Yes Burt! I am nuts…I'm crazy about your son and I want his hand in marriage! _Forever._

"Blaine?" Oh no…its mom, and she's at the edge of my bed! _Shit._ Hastily I slide the precious box off my chest and to my side, underneath the covers so as she cannot see. "I could hear you rustling from right down the hall you know! So-so I knew that you were awake. I just thought I'd come in and tell you how proud I am that your club have won Regionals again…well done sweetheart!" Mom always works late, therefore she doesn't usually get home until around midnight. So tonight, I just went upstairs and straight to bed before I'd even had the chance to tell her.

"Ahm yeah thanks mom." I manage a smile, but I hastily wipe away my tears with the back of my hand. Before she can come any closer and spot that I _have_ indeed been crying. She gasps loudly.

"I'd usually nag about the state of your room Blaine! But I can see that you're tired and…" she pauses and frowns slightly causing my heart to skip a beat. _Shit…what? _"…what's that?" she asks. Oh no…Kurt's box! _Has she seen my ring?_

"Werrr-what? What's what?" I splutter unconvincingly. She continues to look down at me…very sternly. _Oh crap_…I feel as though I am about to die. But finally she looks over to the windowsill…pointing…

"That…is that p-protein powder?" My brain gives me permission so start breathing again_…phew._

"Emm yeah…yes it is."

"Why on earth have you bought that Blaine…wait is it yours, or is it your brothers?"

"No…it's mine. I-I just wanna prepare for Nationals and…for my NYADA audition okay." I can't help but look away…utterly embarrassed. Rolling her eyes, she falters a small laugh at my expense.

"What you boys think you need_ that_ stuff for I'll never know…is raw talent and a brilliant student record not good enough for colleges anymore?"

"Yeah…well I just want to be ready for it all mom! I wanna give it my all this year…and to be strong enough you know. To be ready for both of these humongous milestones in my life." _And to look good so that Kurt might notice me again… _

"You're perfect Blaine…just as you are." She assures me. But I can't help but notice a dark memory flash across my mother's eyes…I recognise that look all too well. Her memory of day when I told my entire family that I was gay. Mom said she was completely fine with it…but I know that she shares a small amount of my Dads disappointment. Who himself…considers me a freak. Some days are better than others with him…but I know I am a huge disappointment to him. _Kurt._ No matter…I know what true love is…and it's Kurt Elizabeth Hummel.

"Do you still want your desk lamp on Blaine?" _Oh._ I hadn't realised that I'd left it on after checking my Facebook notifications.

"No mom. You can turn it off…thanks." I murmur with my recovered yet slightly croaky voice.

"Nighty, night Blaine." She closes the door softly behind her. I listen carefully for the sound of the latch scraping completely shut, before I can start to vigorously rub my face with my hands, breathing deeply in…and out. _Come on Blaine…pull it together._ You need a plan. A sensible one. _Okay! _Firstly I'm going to work on my fitness throughout the winter months. Then I'll somehow sail through my NYADA audition…hang on…_wait!_ Maybe I should travel down to the optional audition in New York, instead of staying back here and auditioning in Ohio. So then I have a valid reason to go and visit Kurt? YES! YES! YES! That's what I shall do…because Nationals is in New York too so this will work. I'll stay with Coop to avoid any suspicions on Kurt and Rachel's behalf. _I've sussed it, YES!_

I start to beat my pillow back into shape before gently sliding the box back underneath it. My room is so much darker now with the lamp light being gone, so it's easier for me to doze off again…thinking over and over about what it is that I am going to do. Bearing witness to Will and Emma's surprise wedding not only six hours. Has made me even more impatient for my own special day. Standing next to Kurt, as we watched them say their vows at the end of the glee club isle. Well…what he didn't know…was that I was clutching this very engagement ring…behind my back.

Nothing much happens to me over the weekend. Except for when Tina and Sam invited me to hang out with them at the mall on Saturday for a short while. But soon we are forced back on track the following Monday morning, when Mr. Schue calls us all in for an emergency Glee Club meeting in the auditorium, at _1pm sharp_. Frankly I am not really in the mood for this…so when I arrive. I instinctively sit with my arm around the chair next to me…just like I used to when Kurt sat with me. _But now he is gone._

"Alllllright! Welcome back you guys and a huge congratulations on our third Regional show choir competition victory…come on!" Everyone's mood is electric…except for mine. Including the excessive hugging and cheering that just keeps going on and on around me…yet all I can do is stair down at my shoes.

"Hey…are you alright?" I spot a strand of dark, glossy female hair accidentally stroking my arm as she leans over to ask…I don't even have to look up…this is unmistakably Marley's hair.

"Yeah of course I am…thanks Marley." Being the sweetie that she is…Marley immediately grabs hold of my arm and starts hugging it tightly, whilst resting her pretty little head on my shoulder. I return my affection without hesitation by resting my own woeful, filled head on top. Surprisingly though…I do manage a smile. _Oh my god_. This is the first time today…that I have genuinely smiled. And in those few precious moments just now…I was able to forget all about Nationals. Kurt. NYADA. _Help?_

"So what's the problem Mr Schue? Why have you called us in here so early in the morning for an emergency meeting? It's not-" Tina voice trails off with worry.

"No, no Tina. There's no need to threat…both Coach Washington and Sue have agreed to keep their noses out of our business this time. So to tell you the truth guys…there is no actual emergency…errr sort of speck. But due to you all being off on study leave this morning…I couldn't wait till four o'clock to tell you-."

"Wait to tell us what Mr. Schue?" Persists Artie.

"That….the theme for this year's National Show Choir Competition is…drum roll please?" Straight away the whole Glee Club starts to excitedly, pound their feet down onto the ground…whilst I just pat down on my thigh.

"Not '33% Vintage'…and it's not Katy Perry I'm afraid Blaine." As if on cue, everybody but me starts to roar with laughter. Then once everyone has turned around to look at me. I do fail miserably to hide my amusement for more than a second. So. I stick my tongue out at them whilst mimicking the cream boobies scene from the '_California Gurls'_ music video. Making us all laugh uncontrollably for a little while longer before giving Mr. Schue the chance to finish.

"Aha…okay, okay…OKAY GUYS. LISTEN UP…LISTEN!" Once the noise desists…we continue to watch and wait…even more eagerly this time. "This year's National themes is…" Mr Shue reaches down into his gym bag, pulling out a small white-board with…MODERN ICONS…written on it in large capital letters. We all just sit there reading it…in complete silence. Okay. Am I the only one who thinks that this…_SOUNDS AMAZING!? Come on you've gotta admit it! _I lift my head up from Marley's, sighing thoughtfully. _See!_ Now I'm really glad that I came in today…considering the fact that I was going to ring in and lie about being _"off sick."_ But this Glee Club…my home…my friends. Always help me through. I glace over to Artie, who is waving his gloved hand above his head in uncontrollable excitement. _Ha ha…I love it when he does that!_

"Our prayers have been answered ya'lls!" He bellows.

"Woop woop woop!." Repeat the boys and…

"Oh my God…oh my God arrr oh my God!" Squeal the girls and…

"Beyoncé all the way baby!" Declares Unique before Mr Schue interjects.

"Maybe…but we have got to perform songs…that the judges _will not_ be expecting. All of which will have to fit together perfectly, and they must! I want you guys to think up some incredible songs ideas, by some unlikely artists that you admire for your homework this week. However…I also need you to prove to me…why your artist is such an iconic figure for your modern generation. Well…that is if you want any chance of your song making it into the final running order. Now. I want to make this very clear. Everyone _needs_ to remember that these songs will have to flow…one after the other…in unison. So that our Nationals set list can…and will be…unstoppable! Alright has everybody understood the theme? Yes? Good. Well Artie…I think your right…all in all…our prayers have indeed…been answered."


	2. Chapter 2

_[This chapter of my Fan-Fiction is dedicated to the wonderful Cory Monteith a.k.a Finn Hudson R.I.P 3*] _

As soon as I arrive home from school that day, I run straight upstairs without thinking about taking off my shoes. _A little mud never did hurt anyone?_ To fire up my computer and to I open up a word document. I manically type _**'Nationals Set-list Ideas**_' on the top of the page, before slouching back in my chair to think. _Hmmm._ On the way home from school, I was raiding my iPod for some songs by modern artists that would be perfect for us to perform at Nationals. But Mr. Schue told us that he hadn't yet given us all of the details yet so I couldn't make any definite decisions so far. He said that everyone in The New Directions should expect an e-mail just before 6pm this evening with a list of all the rules about the Nations theme for this year..._**Modern Icons.**_

"Modern Icons...hummm?" I mutter to myself thoughtfully. Well to start...my favourite artist in the entire world, at the moment is Katy Perry. But Mr. Shue said that my choice was way too predictable for Nationals and that the other Glee Clubs would probably be using her as well. _Damn._ But what if we performed one of her songs...differently? Yes...like in say...a mash up of some kind? I type.

A Katy Perry song with a twist e.g. mash up, acoustic, change of genre/beat.

Before I sit back again. But as I do...I spot Kurt, posing in my favourite picture of him. I have placed this particular photo into a hand-made gold frame to stand out amongst the others, resting on top of my desk. All images of Kurt! I have so many of him...is that weird? But I download them off the NYADA website whenever he's in any of their productions. However this one is still by far...my favourite. He's dressed all in leaves, silk and in a ray of tight cotton..._pwah!_ Sorry emmm...my mind just drifted a little. Anyway! It's a picture I found of him when he was playing a fairy named 'Puck' from this year's production of 'A Midsummer Nights Dream'. Kurt's costume shows off a lot of skin and it obvious to me that he's been working out...not that he weren't perfect before or anything! But he just looks so happy, free and the perfect fit for his character. Rachel told me that he had to fight for that role during the audition process...against another male-diva at NYADA. But apparently he won it fair and square, mainly due to the fact that he had stayed up all night making this costume himself to wear for the audition. Well...come on. What else would you expect from Kurt Elizabeth Hummel...Queen of the divas?

I chuckle remembering how much he used to make me laugh without even opening his precious mouth. Coughing vigorously, I demand myself to stay focus on the task at hand...and to stop thinking about Kurt...for now. I glace around my shoulder at the time on my alarm clock...6:02pm, I should check my e mails. But before I do...after a beat...I turn my chair around so that I'm facing my bed and facing the sight of my pillow. I really do need to remove that ring from underneath my pillow before Mum, Dad or Coop finds it! Striding over I retrieve it, stashing it away into my favourite white-bomber jacket that I chose to wear today. Kurt liked to mention how good he thought my torso looked in this jacket...when we were together. STOP IT BLAINE! My mind screams at me. So with that, I zip up my jacket pocket before sitting back down at my desk to work out what we can do for...Nationals 2013.

Opening up my inbox, I can see that I have three new emails! One is from Mr. Schue...as expected. The second is from Finn...awww good, nobody has heard from him for a long while. Then the third and final one is from...oh my god. IT'S FROM KURT! Without a seconds thought I open up Kurt's e-mail before any of the others. This is the first time he has contacted me personally since that tender phone call we shared on Thanksgiving. I'm amazement...I can see that his email reads.

_**From:**_ KurtElizebethMinnelliHummel

_**Hey Blaine! **_

_**Me and the girls were just watching the Sweeny Todd movie (whilst I was hiding behind a large pillow of course) when Rachel suddenly reminded me that your NYADA audition as well as the ND's Glee Club National Championship Competition are both coming in a few weeks. So I leaped up (accidentally spilling my popcorn all over Santana...making her go all Lima Heights) to type you this immediate e-mail, letting you know that I'm free if you need any help what's so ever? And to tell you that I can't wait to see you and the ND perform here in NY very soon, Kurt :D **_

_**P.S. I'll never forget the wonderful support you gave me last year...at the time when I was in the same position that you are in now. So I really DO understand okayyy! **_

Endlessly, I stare at the rows and rows of text that have appeared across my screen. After taking the time to re-read it over and over again, only tiny sections of the information go into my brain each time. He wants to meet up...meet up with me? He wants to see me a-and help me out? Huh I tell ya...if you had a thermometer in your hand right now reader. I'd dare you to measure the temperature of my heart and I would guarantee the likelihood of it reading over 100 degrees. Leaning back in my chair, feeling utterly dumb-founded, I stare hopelessly at my personally signed P!nk poster stuck on the ceiling.

"This is fucking perfect." I murmur, chuckling away with glee. But then it hits me...yes...P!nk! She's an alternative, unlikely icon...who gives our generation a voice right? Oh my god! I'd love to perform a duet of 'Just Give Me a Reason' with one of the New Directions girls. YAY...I freaking love that song! I minimise Kurt's e-mail momentarily so I can type...

P!nk ft. Nate Ruess – Just Give Me A Reason

...into my word document .I guess I'll have to explain the 'Idol' status later.

I minimize everything on the screen so that I have complete view of only Kurt's e-mail...without any distractions. Clutching the square shaped bulge in my jacket pocket, I narrow my eyes at the un-expected message that's he's just sent me. Does he want to meet me-meet me...or just hang out? He doe's want to make sure I get into NYADA...that's a good sign right? Though to be honest...I need all the help I can get, because I haven't got a clue about what I'm going sing in front of Carmen Tibideaux. Suddenly my knees wobble like jelly underneath the desk at the thought of it...strange. I don't usually get nerves this bad. Never the less...Kurt wants to share this transition with me and he's going to...WATCH ME PERFORM AT NATIONALS! Wait...what AM I waiting for? I need to tell him yes, yes, yes right away...but I'm too existed to wait for him to e-mail me back. So I open up a new Google Chrome tab and log onto Facebook...I want to check if he's online.

Ignoring my 5 notifications flags, I look over to my 'online friends' list at the side of the site. I punch the air with delight.

"YEEEES thank god." Kurt's online...so slowly, I type my message to him with trembling fingers.

_**(SENT): Blaine Anderson **_

_**Yes, yes...YES to all of your ideas in that e-mail you sent me, thanks Kurt! **_____

As soon as I've sent it...I instantly regret how clipped I made my reply. But I don't want to over do it I suppose..._BLEEP!_ My inbox bleeps almost immediately making my jump...but the message isn't from Kurt. It's from Miss Tina Can't-Leave-Blaine-Alone Cohan Chang.

_**(FROM): Tina Cohan Chang **_

_**HEY BLAINE! OMG have you seen the Nationals rules yet? Their being so uptight this year ugh! X**_

I roll my eyes...please sweetie...not now. Hectically, I inbox her before Kurt has time to get back to me.

_**(SENT): Blaine Anderson **_

_**No sorry Tina, I'm just on here for work. I haven't checked my emails yet.**_

I clink _**X**_on Tina's inbox before scrolling up and typing _**Kurt Elizabeth Hummel**_ into search. But annoying Tina persists. _BLEEP! _

_**(FROM): Tina Cohan Chang **_

_**WHY NOT!? And how on earth can you be doing work on Facebook? Your not Mark Zuckerberg you know :P **_

I uncross my legs with frustration... I think I'm going to need both feet firmly on the floor for this.

_**(SENT): Blaine Anderson **_

_**I promise to message you a.s.a.p about Nationals and everything Tina. But only as soon as I've done this thing okay? x **_

_**(FROM): Tina Cohan Chang **_

_**Okay **____** x**_

Phew. Finally! I press enter on search and within two clicks, I'm on Kurt's Facebook wall. WOW! He has been busy this week. He's posted plenty of new statuses and he's added lots of new photo albums, as well as a few pop-up event dates. His latest status reads...

_**FINALLY I can lock up Pucks sparkly, loincloth for A Midsummer Nights Dream away in my wardrobe...praying that it shall never see the light of day again!? Well unless I'm desperate for a new Halloween costume that is haha. Now it's time for a late movie fright-night with my gurls **_**Santana Lopez**_** and **_**Rachel Berry x ** This status was updated 34 minutes ago and has: 9 Likes ✔& 3 Comments.

He must have typed that e-mail to me not long ago...because he's watching Sweeny Todd with Santana and Rachel just like he said? I'll try to get his attention by commenting on his status...oh and I'd better mention that I am interested in his life too! Very interested...

_**(COMMENT LEFT BY): Blaine Anderson **_

_**It's a huge YES from me on your offer to help me out Kurt. I honestly can't tell you how much I appreciate this...also the fact that you chickened out on a scary-movie night with the girls...using the excuse of having to contact me is quite amusing! P.S. That A Midsummer Nights Dream production you did looks phenomenal in the pictures **_____

There...that's better. Kurt's bound to like that...oh like...shit. I forgot to like his status. I click _**LIKE **_quickly with a large, loving smile plastered all over my face. _BLEEP!_ That's him...IT MUST BE KURT! As I check for any new comments below his status, I can feel butterflies doing a full 360 in my stomach...but soon all of those butterflies get harshly punched away...they are gone...after I have seen who it is from.

_**(COMMENT LEFT BY): Adam Appleton **_

_**So...this is the famous Blaine that Kurt has been telling me about? **_____

Oh my god. It's Kurt's 'on and off again' or his 'I don't know if I like you yet' boyfriend. I've heard of him but I have never actually met him...or seen what he looks like. Curiously...I accidentally...okay on purpose...click into his profile.


	3. Chapter 3

From what I see…it takes me no time at all to understand why Kurt likes this guy, making me wish that I hadn't looked at Adams profile in the first place. He's from England, Essex…hummm never heard of it. And according to this, he is the founder and the male lead of NYADA's Glee Club…fuck me! And it's named after him as well!

_**CLICK HERE TO LIKE **__**THE '**__**ADAMS APPLES**__**'**____**PAGE **_____

Right now, I just want to burst into unruly tears…I haven't got a chance in hell against him. _"When two people love each other…like you two do…everything works out." _I recollect the last conversation me and Kurt's Dad Burt had...when he asked me if I thought that Kurt belonged with me…I said "yes" to which he replied "then stop worrying". So with that in mind, I continue to torture myself by scrolling down Adams page…but this time with a little more self-worth.

I have three mutual friends with Adam. Rachel, Santana and…Kurt. _I wonder if he's vain? _I hope so! I can't remember what context it was in but I do remember Kurt telling me _"I love people who take pride in their appearance, but I have no time for vain divas!"_ I clink onto one of Adams concert albums entitled _**Robbie W**__**illiams Stadium World Tour – NY - **__** end **__**of year concert with NYADA's Second Years (23**__**rd**__** June 2013).**_I think I've heard of Robbie Williams before… yep he's an English artist…and he's quite good…brilliant actually.I curl my bottom lip with approval before I can stop myself. I'm not going to deny…he has good musical taste. _Robbie was in Take That wasn't he?_ I click next, next, next, next, next, next, next….oh until I find a picture that I can annotate. It looks like he'd got standing tickets to this particular concert because he's stood up, surrounded by friends. Unfortunately…I conclude that he looks like a really nice, attractive, fun guy to be around.

_BLEEP! BLEEP! _

I sigh heavily…I bet that's Tina again? Reluctantly but with a secret pang of relief, I click off Adams profile. Wow. Both Kurt and Artie have commented on his 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' status.

_**(COMMENT LEFT BY): Artie Abrams **_

_**Just seen the pictures...thought the production looked dope Kurt, no awesome! Well done ma8 :D Oh p.s. this is for Blaine…have you seen the rules for Nationals yet?**_

_**(COMMENT LEFT BY): Kurt Elisabeth Hummel**_

_**Awww thanks Artie, yeah I loved every second…but I can't wait another minute until you're directing me in my first movie debut! 3 **_

_**(COMMENT LEFT BY): Kurt Elisabeth Hummel **_

_**THANKS BLAINE! I'm so glad that you're taking me up on my offer of helping you. Errr what's going on with Nationals? :D **_

_Crap__!_ I've not even bothered to check Mr. Schues e-mail yet…some team player I am. I hit my head with the palm of my hand. God I've got too much swimming around my head, all at once, making it so bloody difficult to concentrate. Okay. Ignore Facebook!

"Blaine?" I jump at the sound of a loud, muffed voice calling for me at the foot of the stairs. _Who's that?!_ Mom?

"Y-yeah?" I call back…slightly alarmed.

"Hey honey...sorry to ruin your buzz but they let me off early at work…"

Despite being up to my eyeballs with problems...I smile. I smile for the first time since Marley asked me how I was. _Mom__ i__s home!_ I'm not going to miss this opportunity…because this means I can spend all evening with her. For the last six months, I've only ever seen her face when she'd pop her head around my door to wish me good night...after getting home _very_ late from work. My Mom works more than she needs to…she works _way_ too hard.

I leap up excitedly, switching my computer onto standby mode. Before flying down the stairs until I reach the bottom into the hallway.

"Hi Mom. It's great to have you home…so early!" I can't help but beam at her as I say these words. Weirdly she doesn't look up…_hum__mm._ I notice that she's unloading one of many bags of shopping from Wal-Mart. I enter kitchen carefully, watching her intently, as she fishes her hand into one of the plastic carrier bags and pulls out an individual glass bottle…cider. _MY FAVORITE_ one as well! She chuckles, I think, at my reaction as she hands it to me. I clutch it with greedy hands, stroking it as though it were some precious jewel. She points her finger at me.

"Don't…tell your Father."

"Trust me…I won't! Oh thank you Mom!" I squeak delightedly, however I frown when she's suddenly goes all silent again.

"Another thing me and your Father don't agree on. But I'd rather have my son drinking moderately than having him going out and getting hammered behind my back. I cringe at the memory of that night when me and Kurt had a huge fight outside 'Scandals' the gay bar...last year. I had to walk home drunk and I ended up crying on my mother's shoulder in the kitchen…away from my father. Abruptly I am pulled back in to the present when my Mom lunges forward to hug me.

"Oh Blaine. I've missed coming home to see you…and Coop." I'm touched…but idly I wonder why she hasn't mentioned Dad as well.

"Ohww Mom." I well up.

"What would you like us to do with me tonight then Blaine? I don't get to see my handsome boys much during the week, so now that I have just you all to myself. I'd like to make the most of our time together..." Mom releases me and she holds me at arms length to examine me. I shrug, not knowing what to suggest. I glace down at the noticeable red patches down both of my arms…evidence from her vigorous embrace with me. "Oh sorry Blaine." She giggles, like a small school girl, making me grin in return. I kiss her tenderly on the check and she places her hand on where I've been…shocked I think? But she smiles back. "NetFlix and Lasagne for tea?" She murmurs mutely.

"You took the words right outta my mouth Mom."

"Okay great, so which films do you want me to rent out for us…I'm not interrupting any of your work upstairs am I…?"

"No, no. It can wait. Let me do that…I'll cook tonight. You go on through there and relax…I don't mind what film you chose…OH as long as it doesn't have Ryan Gosling in it!" I manage to add as she descending off into the living room.

"Wait…I thought you loved the Notebook?" She rapidly re-enters the kitchen. _Shit_…she's got me there.

"Yes…well that's the only movie I can stand to watch with him in...I guess." I make a start at chopping the tomatoes. "Besides…you can't complain when Rachel McAdams is part of the cast too!" She wonders over to me and touches my arm, asking me to step back as she opens the cutlery draw for...a bottle opener...for her wine.

"What's the matter with you Blaine…I thought you were gay?" She snorts whilst wrestling the cork out of the bottle. "Chin, chin. Thank you sweetheart." And with that, she floats back into the living room…turning on the television...I can hear David Letterman announcing which guests are on his show tonight. My mood has overturned causing my chopping to speed up and I accidentally cut my hand. _AWWW!_ I don't know what it was that she's said…but I'm upset. I feel hurt. _Don't be ridiculous_…I tell myself. I run my fingers under the cold tap before reaching sideways for the pivot mirror next to the kitchen roll. I wince at the sight of my red sticky fingers as I manage to angle the mirror so I can see the TV screen from in the kitchen. A little trick of mine. _OH MY GOD!_ Kelly Osborne is on Letterman…perfect cooking motivation…check!

It takes me more than an hour of hard, hazardous work before I've finally cooked us a decent homemade Lasagne. Taking one last swig of my deliciously crisp cider, I dispose of the empty bottle into the recycling bin. The table is set, so I call Mom over to my splendidly laid out table. Already...I feel a lot calmer.

"Ready! So what film are we watching…?"

"This looks incredible Blainey…thank you! Oh and because I got paid today…I've rented us two movies…we have all night haven't we?"

"Errr…YEAH!" I say, way to enthusiastically."

"I've rented 'Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind' and 'Confessions of a Shopaholic.'" I frown.

"Mum…I'm your son…not your daughter." Her face drops. "Just kidding…I love those choices!" Honestly…doesn't she know that any movie with Kate Winslet or Isla Fisher in is A OKAY in my book?

"Hey that wasn't funny Blaine! I was just about to give you this…but I don't think I'll bother now..." She's sulking, but her voice gives away a trace of humour.

"Werrr-what…give me what?" She purses her lips, as we both sit opposite each other at the table and I tuck in. But I'm staved for information just as much as food now. "Mom…what, please what?" Reaching her arm over to the sofa behind her, she pulls out a glossy, thick magazine."

"You're Bible". _Bang!_ And it lands in front of me. _VOUGE! _It's this month's new edition of Vouge magazine.

"I love you Mom. You, Vogue and food are all I need to get bye." We laugh sweetly together, before trailing off into conversation, asking each other about our day. But whenever she starts asking me about Kurt…I try my very best to skirt off the subject, much to my mother's frustration. However the grilling is short lived as we finish our meal in no time at all. I make a start at clearing away the entire table whilst Mom sets up the first movie on the flat screen. _I need to get back to my emails._ My subconscious whispers to me…but I ignore it…I'm having too much fun flicking through glossy magazines and listening to the rare sound of my mother's voice…" _BANG!_

"HESTER…BLAINE?" I freeze. Dad. He's home.

"Jonathan?" I hear Mom drop the remote and dash franticly into the hallway. "Jonathan...please keep your voice down…you'll upset Blaine." After that, I can't understand anything further of what they are saying to one another. Both of their voices are hushed…stern and sincere…. a whispered conversation…so that I can't hear. I decide to stay hidden away from them in the kitchen. My breathing is shallow. So I move over the window in the hope of letting some refreshing air in for myself. _Wow!_ I look out at the dark and eerie sky...and there's a small, glistening star that catches my eye...far away in the distance.

"Blaine?" My father calls for me suddenly. _Gulp._ Unsteadily, I make my way through the living room until I find myself stood awkwardly in the hallway, wiping my hands clean with a dish cloth. It takes me several seconds to draw my gaze away from my pale faced Father and over to my teary eyed mother.

"My god…what's happened…what's wrong?" I ask. My father peels off his dripping wet raincoat and hangs in onto the nearest hook. He gather that he doesn't want to look my mother in the eye. _Why?_

"Hester. I think that you should be the one to tell Blaine." My mouth turns dryer than sandpaper. _What…is….going….on?_

"Darling….emmm Blaine errr….your friend…emmm…." She trails off to think.

"Finn Hudson." My Father interjects, irritably.

"Yes emmm…Finn. He is..."

"What Mom?" The painful silence stretches between the three of us, for another, uncomfortable several seconds. My Father sighs and crosses his arms...fixing his gaze upon me. I know that he is going to deliver this news to me bluntly...unlike my Mother.

"Your friend Finn Hudson...he's dead." Dead. Finns dead? But he sent me an e-mail only yesterday…wait… but I didn't even bother to read it.

Darkness eludes me...like a huge wreaking ball…and before I know it…my vision is side on with the floor...my face pressed against it...I have fainted. The last thing I remember is my parents rushing over to catching me…

"BLAINE!"

"BLAINE!"

…but the last thing I remember thinking about...before I passed out …is Finn. My memory of him... embracing his step-brother, Kurt...before he left for New York.

"Good luck Bro...NEXT STOP NYADA!"


	4. Chapter 4

"_Honestly Dude I was kinda jealous...I felt threatened...your talent kinda freaked me out...made me question whether or not I was good enough...look Blaine...I'm sorry...I've been acting like a Jack-ass to you...with Rachel gone your the most talented...well rounded member of this team...and now more than ever...we need to be on the same page...united." _

Awakening with a start, the memory of Finn first becoming my friend...begins to fade away. I'm comfortably tucked up in bed, in my room, but with a nasty throbbing on one side of my face.

"Oww!" I moan, confused.

"BLAINE?" Replies a loud, hopeful voice, possibly coming from the room next door. _Tina?_

"Errr yes? I-is that you Tina...?" An overzealous Tina bursts into my bedroom, clashing the door with the wall...causing me to jump. _Jeez!_

"BLAINE! YOUR AWAKE! Oh my god...we were both so worried about you." _We? Both?_

"Why...Tina w-why am I tucked up in bed?" I ask. But. Then. I realise. "Finn." Our eyes shoot to one anothers in horror. "Is it true Tina...please tell me that I've just dreamt it?" She pauses for a second...shaking her head. "Tina?" Then suddenly, there's a knock on the wall outside of the door. She swiftly perks up and her glower turns slowly into a small, yet delectable smile.

"Oh...who is it?" Tina calls playfully.

"Don't take the piss Chang...is he alright...should I come in?" Whispers a sweet, familiar voice.

"Sure Kurt...he's fine. Come on in." _WHAAAAAAT? Kurts here!_ My eyes bulge and I give her my holy-fuck-you-could-have-given-me-some-warning look. But all she does is giggle at my suprised reaction. I tug at my sheets, trying to appear a little more presentable before he finally walks in through the door. Kurts blue eyes are bright yet a little red around the edges, come to think of it...so are Tinas. _Have they been crying?_ _Over Finn?_ Oh god. _Poor Finn._ Suddenly my heart sinks...and...I almost forget myself...as well as where I am. Glancing back up at Kurt, I watch as he graciously enters the room. He's wearing mostly black, acompanied with a few white and silver accsorories of course. _Oh my...he really is captivating._ This kicks off a stray thought and alarm hits me. _FUCK! _I hope he doesn't clock those pictures I've got of him lined up on my desk. Subtly, I blink over in that direction to check. _Phew!_ I sigh with relief. The shutter on my desk is down. _Double phew! _Kurt narrow his eyes at me but seems to dismiss the thought whilst casualy taking his place oppoisite Tina, sat on the edge of the bed.

"Hey Blaine...I'm back in Ohio. A-are you sure that your well enough to have visitors?" He asks sincerely...making me gulp like a frog. _Crap!_ I can actually hear my pulse thudding against my ear drum.

"Emmm yeah...sure. Thanks Kurt..I'm fine." I lie. "I-it's amazing...I mean it's great to see you here...both of you." Tina rolls her eyes at me, so as Kurt doesn't see her sure-Blaine-would-only-notice-you-when-your-in-the -room-but-it's-okay face. "Did I faint or something?" I inquire, looking out of the window at the daylight. "Have I been out cold up until now and where are my parents?" I'm momentarally distracted by Kurt scanning my room with his...his eyes. I know that he's trying to look anywhere but at me. _Kurt...please...look at me!_

"Yes..you fainted last night after..." Tina drops her head from a sudden stroke of greif that consumes her before she can continue. "...after your parents told you about Finn. No one knows exactly what happened to him...but we definitely know that he's gone. Your parents are out...investigating." A lump begins to force it's way up my throat.

"How are you guys holding up? I just can't believe that our wonderful friend...and brother is gone. Forever." Kurt bites his bottom lip, I suspect to hold back a sob and Tina starts stroking her neck and I know that this is her way of hiding her own discomfort as well. But Kurt surprises us both by reaching over for her hand...and then...to my delight...for mine too. Shakily, I sit up and take it.

"All I can say...is that Finn wouldn't want us to feel as bloody awful as we do now. He'd want us to mourn him during a beautiful send off. He'd want us to respect everything that he has achieved and helped us to achieve...during his very short life. He'd want us to move on with our lifes." We both nod enthusiastically at his wise words.

"Does Rachel know...Burt...Carol? Do any of them know yet?" His face pales at my question.

"I honestly don't know. Well...I know that my parents do. I sat up all last night with them...trying to ease their pain...especialy Carol...she's inconsolable. My Dad doesn't know what to do?"

"Is there anything I can do to help? I notice that you haven't mentioned Rachel...emmm is-?"

"I don't know if she knows Blaine. I've rung her over and over again...asking to speak to her...and I've been texting her the same thing. But she hasn't responded to me at all...so I don't know." Kurt hides his face with his hands. _Oh no...is he crying? _Tina quickly wraps her arms around him and I throw my covers off, fuzzily walking over to them. "I'm sorry. I understand why you'd think that...but she was sleeping over at a friends house. But before I left...me and Santana dicided that I should go and comfort my family here in Ohio...whilst she'd stay in NY waiting for Rachel to get back to our appartment. Santana told me not ten minutes that shes had no word from her either...we're all really worried about Rachel and I-I don't know what to doooo..." Kurts body racks with sobbs, the sight breaks my heart in two. _Oh Kurt...I love you...I love you so much! _

Without thinking, I pull Kurt into a heart-felt hug. I sense his suprise...but...he doesn't pull back! Infact...Kurt relaxs into my arms, trying to steady his own dry heaves. _I feel your heart so close to mine...Kurt._ I close my eyes and open them again looking at Tina. She raises an eyebrow at me and I mouth "shut up" over Kurts shoulder. But I can't help smirking at my own gesture either. But unfortunatly I am robbed of this tender moment all to soon.

_RING! RING!...RING! RING!...RING! RING!..._

A mobile phone goes off somewhere in the house and Kurt gasps, pushing me off him. More forsefully than he had intended to...I think. "Sorry Blaine...that might be Rachel?" He smiles at me briefly before sprining out of the room to pick up the call. I am left face to face with an anilitical Tina.

"I saw that." Tina teases me. I try my best to look completly inoccent.

"Saw what?" I challenge.

"You and Kurt...well the way you hugged him I mean...I'm not blind you know."

"Well...I didn't see you offering to comfort him...properly."

"Nah...I wanted to leave the field open...you know?" She pucnhes me gently on the shoulder and I shurg guilyity. "Aren't you going to thank me?" She adds.

"For what? You want me to thank you...for letting me...hug a grieving human being?"

"No, no! Not just for that silly...for hiding all your pictures of him." She scolds, gesturing over to my desk. I blush arkwardly. "You were damn lucky that I spotted them before Kurt came over here...he would have called up M.I.5 to report a sicko stalker!" She shakes her head, but I know that she's still only teasing.

"Well...I just call it love." I whisper.

"Awww Blaine...that SOOOO CUTE!" She squeals, shaking me with both hands until all of the candy falls out.

"Okay! Okay! Yes Tina! Yes! Your Asian Persuasion skills still work...in more ways than one. Now please...put me down ha ha!"

"You mean there's more...you didn't?" I wink, patting her on the sholder. I get up to fish out that small, square shaped box from my white bomer jacket. I glace anxiously over my shoulder at the door, to check if the coast is clear, before revealing the big diamond and sapphire sparkler to a wide eyed Tina.

"Ta Dah."

"You...you got it? OH MY GOD! You actually bought the one that I recommened! Oh Blaine. It's perfect. Just what Kurt would want...wait I didn't know that you were _still_ going to propose?"

"Oh yes!" I run over, bouncing back onto the bed excitedly. "Wild horses couldn't stop me!"

"Give it to me...give it to me! Oh..." I hand it over and watch as she pulls it out of the box. _Oh crap! How long has Kurt been gone? _

"Shit Tina! Kurt might come back in here any minute?" I warn.

"Just a second...please...just let me try it on." She eloquently slides the engagement ring onto her wedding finger.

"Do you really think he'll like it Tina? I mean...what if he doesn't...or-or what if he doesn't even care about the ring and just screams no?" I shake my head. Every hour, my predictions on how Kurt is going to handle this...keep changing.

"Trust me Blaine...if you plan this right. True love...fate...whatever lies right at your feet. Blaine Hummel-Anderson suits you." We laugh in unison before I take her hand.

"Thank you. Now come on...let's get that rock off your finger before Kurt gets back."

"Okay." Tina gently tugs at the ring...but it doesn't budge, and her smile vanishes. Kneeling up onto her knees...she tries again. But it's no use...the ring just won't come off. _This CANNOT be happening. _

"Werrr-werrr-what's wrong Tina?" I squeak.

"I-I-shit...I can't get it off." _Oh hell to the nooooooo Tina! _

"TINA! Quickly...just-just twist it...lick your finger...ANYTHING! Please just get that ring off before..."

"Great news guys...I finally got hold of Rac-" Kurt stops. We've only just noticed him stood over us...and I think I am about to faint, for the second time in as many days.


End file.
